Poop thoughts

So there's this concept called "anal expulsive". I believe child psychologists use it to describe a certain phase of infant development where the youngster is resistant to wearing a diaper and basically defecates anywhere. This has been confirmed to my by parents of young children.

From what I understand, the child does not like the restriction of a diaper. It lacks freedom. It chafes. The child is not in control of their own body and how it feels. So, on an unconscious, dare I say primitive, level, the child will pull off the diaper and poop in the bed, on the floor, wherever. This is an attempt by the child to exert control over their environment. Yes, it is poop. Yes, it is smelly and stinky and gross and ever so disgusting. But the child does not see it that way. Sure, it may be stinky; but maybe "stinky" is something we are socially conditioned to perceive? I'd be willing to bet that the kid has no concept of "stink" and "filth" and "dirty" and "disgusting"; at least until the parent starts using those words with the accompanying tone when they discover the steaming pile.

No, I believe the accepted theory is that the child views the poop as a creation. It's a symbol of their freedom from diaper restraint. It's a symbol of their creative power. It's a symbol of their ability to shape and influence the environment around them, no matter what the effects truly are, no matter the consequences. It's a symbol of perceived mastery.

Now who else does this type of behavior remind you of?

Who else has a habit of shitting in the environment around them as an expression of control and influence in that environment, be it side effect or not? What species just seems to not be able to keep their diaper on and dispose of their crap correctly?

Let me be blunt. I think that for all our "civilization" and "progress", as a species we are just children shitting in the living room.

I am reminded of an old phrase: "Don't shit where you eat."

I think the wisdom in that phrase is pretty self-evident. Most societies on this planet don't have a problem not shitting where they eat, right? I mean, isn't one of the hallmarks of modern civilization supposed to be sewage and plumbing? We all agree we're not gonna shit where we eat; so we ship our shit somewhere else. (In the case of industry anymore, maybe not? Just dump it behind a fence in some suburban landfill.)

The point is, however, we are affecting the environment on a planetary scale. So unless we start piping the shit off the planet, which I am sure some braintrust is working on, we *are* shitting where we eat.

This planet is our one and only home. Every living thing is connected in the web of life and the cycle of seasons and death. We really are shitting where we eat. Just look at the beef industry.

One final thought for now: Fuck You to all those fucking scientists and futurists who want to terraform and colonize Mars and whatever other planet we can get our grubby hands on. Why don't we apply some of that brain power and cleverness to restoring balance here on Earth instead of fucking things up elsewhere?
  • Current Mood

It's been a while...

It's been a great while since I put an entry in here. Been really really busy and distracted.

In any case, I think I want to take a more constructive turn with this blog thing. I'd like to try to record my more philosophical and metaphysical musings here in addition to my vents and rants.

Let's see how this goes....
  • Current Mood


Dammit! I just read my post below and noticed a couple typos. Is there a way to correct those or are they there to show off my poor proofing skills for eternity?

*grumble grumble*

Stupid Internet!
  • Current Music
    The Dust Brothers - Fight Club - Original Motion Picture Score - Medula Oblongata


Listening to this music fills me with the urge to go completely out-of-my-skull fucking berserk. I am talking absofuckinglutely blood and guts non-linear.

I not that's not a very peaceful or "civilized" thing to say. But what the fuck? Back in the day, if somebody pissed you off by hurting you or yours, you had every right and means to fuck that person's shit way the hell up. Nowadays, you can be taken to court for defending yourself!?

I mean, a corporation makes a financially based decision to fill your community up with poison and cancer, right? Can you retaliate? Oh sure, you can get a class action lawsuit going on; but what the hell does that solve? You get some money. Is that what you really wanted? No, you want the fuckers to stop. Will they? No. They just drop their waste somewhere else, in somebody else's back yard.

It's just a fucking shame that corporations have more rights than actual human beings. For some words on a piece of paper, that is pretty freaking amazing.

Hi, I'm a corporation. I am immortal and immoral. I was made by humans but I certainly don't answer to them. My prime directive is to preserve my own profit margin at all costs. The best part? I am protected by the LAW! If the humans that work inside me actually act with a conscience and behave responsibly toward the communities and environments which I interact with, they can be fired or even SUED if the shareholders don't see a profit. How excellent is that? I am the juggernaut of the ages. My lust for consumption and global markets will destroy this planet and at the same time reduce every human being to a spiritually impoverished, weak minded, advertising suckled drone.

See, what I am talking about is righteous justice. Holy fucking revenge in the name of the planet and all life everywhere. I say, if a corporation is dumping shit (mental, spiritual or physical) in your community, your community bands together and issues a formal warning to the offending entity. That's strike one. Next, the community bands together and issues class action suits against the corporation. At the same time, the community should be suing to revoke the entity's corporate charter. That's strike two.

Strike three? Here's my fantasy:

That's when the community goes non-linear. I mean all out war. For every person injured or killed by the complacency of the corporation, a board member or majority stockholder is visited upon with a similar fate. That whole Christian notion of 'eye for and eye' being 'bad' is fucking bullshit. Look around you. Open your eyes and see how many people in the world are wound up and dead inside because they cannot fight back in a tangible way. Our laws don't protect us and our communities any more. Our laws protect THEM, and they are not even real, not alive, not morally obliged to act in our interests. People and communities and towns and tribes should be allowed the god-given right to *defend* themselves by any means. I am not talking about terrorism or anything like that. I am talking about a very strong message that says, "Stop what you are doing and leave us alone."

Enough communities on the planet start defending to the fullest, we might just be free again.

Anyway, that's what I daydream about when I listen to this kind of music. I don't really want to hurt anybody. Most people don't. I just want to be free like my ancestors were free.
  • Current Music
    Gladiator - Motion Picture Soundtrack - The Battle

Still no Jury Duty :(

I am beginning to think I won't serve in a jury at all this week. I think I will actually be disappointed by that. To not be selected to serve my county, state and country while wearing a kilt. That is tragic indeed.

Speaking of tragedy, I love it when I hear my thoughts echoed by people in other groups at work. You now, people I don't work with and basically don't know from Adam; but they walk by my cube spouting off and I hear precious little gems like this:

"I believe that was a total disaster and a complete waste of time."


I am reminded again of Fight Club: "Tyler's words coming out of my mouth".

Except I am Tyler Durden and my words are coming out of other people's mouths.

Project Mayhem, Stage One: Establish subconscious, subversive mental control over the attitudes of coworkers -- complete!
  • Current Music
    Green Day - International Superhits - Hitchin' A Ride

Surfing and more CVS pain

Tonight I had planned on meeting up with friends in SC to go surfing. There was supposed to be a SW swell peaking today, but as it turned out, things were rather flat at the usual places. And where it was not flat it was totally freaking crowded. Or so I was told.

By the time I got there after eating and driving over the hill, it was dusk. A miniscule set would come in my preferred place every once in a while, but it was pretty flat. I figured I did not come all that way to do nothing. Actually, the others wanted to go to the rock climbing gym; but I was not packing my climbing gear and I refuse to spend money on shitty gym rental shoes.

Anyway, I decided to stay and get wet. As it turned out, I managed to catch a couple waves. When I say a "couple", literally I mean "2". Not bad for a novice still getting used to a new board, just after sunset, with no peaks worth mentioning. And the water was balmy warm. So relaxing.

Relaxing is good because work today was another exercise in trying not to scream "are you really *that* much of a moron?!" out loud over and over and over.

Last week, I merged a branch of our code back into the trunk in CVS. This is nothing extraordinary. I merge. I do conflict resolution. I check in my changes. Voila. The branch has been merged back into the trunk. I send email to the group. Hey everybody: stop developing on the branch. I have merged it back into the trunk. Update your working copies like so. Have a nice day. Later I send another email. Just to be sure. Hey everybody: just to verify, you should be on the trunk now. Update your working copy like so. This is not just some strange arbitrary idea of my own, mind you. I was asked to do this by the team leads.

So today, just because I had an itch, I looked into the branch and what do I see? Recent check-ins! Yay! I couple commands later and I knew *exactly* who the culprit was.

Hey motherfucker! You cock-licking evolutionary reject! Why the *fuck* are you still checking changes into the branch? I fucking sent TWO very explicit and detailed emails asking, nay, TELLING you not to. Is your intention to piss me off to no end by making extra work for me? Well if it is, congratufuckinglations! You win the penghis award, you sack of fungal rotting snot!

Of course, a reasonable person might point out that I should not take this so personally and just inform the responsible knuckle-dragging mouth-breather that he will resolve his mess by merging his change back into the trunk himself, thus saving me the time and energy of doing it myself.

I respond to such criticism thusly: fuck off. You don't know these people. You are not intimately familiar with the bounds to which their ignorance and complacency extends.

Suppose I did ask the pig fucker to do the merge. That in itself implies that I trust him to a) actually know enough about CVS to do the merge and conflict resolution correctly and b) actually do it when I ask him. If I do it myself, I know it is already done and correctly. Not so if I try to educate and coerce.

Besides, I trust these yahoos about as far as I can throw them. Why? This is why:

Historically, these guys avoided branching code in CVS. Yes, they knew about branching. They knew how to do it. They knew why to do it. They just chose not to. This is not necessarily a problem. I mean, most projects don't even need branching ever to be performed. But when certain situations arise, you look at your peers and you say, "sounds like we need to branch the code; we'll merge it back into the trunk later", or whatever. Then your peers say, "yeah, that's a sound idea, make it so."

Not these guys. No. Those situations arose and they said, "hey, how can we branch without branching, you know, because we're fucking morons, and we want to lose our change history and just make shit more complex than it needs to be because, you know, we prefer diffing and patching files manually?"

To wit, someone replied, "I know! Let's just make COPIES of the repository. That way, we indeed will lose change history between what might normally be called the trunk and what might normally be called a branch. Also, because we'll be coding out of two or more distinct repositories, we'll be forced to manually diff and patch files when we want to merge them."

So that's what they did. They made multiple copies of their CVS repository, because they purposefully and willfully chose not to take advantage of CVS's branching and merging capabilities.

Is that classic or what?

Now, I know CVS is not perfect. Fuck, that's what Subversion is for. But when you have a tool and it's a good tool; and you have a job for which that tool is the right tool; you fucking well don't throw the tool away because you don't like it's goddamn color.
  • Current Music
    Praxis - Trasmutation (Mutatis Mutandis) - The Interworld and the New Innocence

Just a barrel of monkey fuck

Recently, I posted a rant to the site Work or Spoon.

Just for shits and giggles, and to have context for another rant I have been given reason to spew upon the world, I present it here too. Yes, I know the link to the rant should be sufficient, but, you know, what if WoS disappears without a trace some day. I'd like to have my own equally volatile copy on LiveJournal instead of having to rely on the various corporate sponsored web caches. I bet some day you will have to pay to retrieve a version of your own web site from a web cache.

Chirst, does that make *any* sense???

Like the web fucking matters in the long run anyway. Go read Fight Club if you want to know what I mean. Our whole civilization is just a huge collective exercise in technological masturbation. Capitalism. Consumerism. Scientific Method. Manifest Destiny. Military/Industrial Complex. Globalization. It's all just Western society saying: "Look how fucking clever we are. We run the show now. Fuck god; fuck the planet; fuck anyone that gets in the way of our percentage."

I just want to be around when the biosphere is damaged beyond repair and the whole planetary ecology completely folds in on itself *and* we don't have the technology to escape the planet so we can attempt to start the whole insane process all over again somewhere else. I want to be there when the planet puts the nix on our little socio-economic experiment and we learn the true meaning of evolution and survival of the fittest. I want to be there when the eyes of the people are finally open and they realize that corporations have been fucking every single one of us over from day one and we let them, because you know, we created them. I want to be there when every native person on this planet says "I told you so" and disappears into the wilderness to live exactly the way they lived for millenia. I want to be there when the heads fucking *roll*.

In the mean time, here is my petty little rant. The shit I have to put up with at work. (And no, the irony of this rant in light of what I just went on about is not lost on me.)


There is a new contractor working on a device driver for our product. He is new so he does not yet have a CVS account. I've been asked to help him get his code into CVS once his account is activated. I walk over to his cube tolet him know these things.

He says to me, 'Well, I don't think there is a rush to put this code into CVS. I mean, it's not ready for production yet.'


It's at moments like these that I want to kill.

I think to myself, did he just say what I think he said? In the microseconds following his utterance, I have to run through several response options and their probable consequences in my head. I need to be careful, because I have a bad habit of being too "passionate" in the workplace. The truth is, I have a low tolerance for monkey fucking knee-biters.

But did he really just say that? Does he really believe that CVS is a place where you put your code only when it is ready for production? That's a new one by me.

I verge on blurting out, 'You're fucking kidding me, right?' before I reign myself in and go with, 'Well, actually, it is really important you get your code in CVS so you have your revision history preserved. You know, CVS is a time machine...it's a software development tool, not just a production build tool.' The best part is, this guy has used CVS in the past and yet he still does not seem to get it. What I don't get is that someone can "use" a tool and still not know how to *use* the freaking tool! It's like having a claw hammer and knowing that it's an impact force tool; but you build a whole house only using the damn thing to break and shape bricks rather than drive and remove nails.

It does not help that I'm actually at that sad point in my evolution as a programmer that I don't even question anymore whether or not to use CVS. It just is. CVS just *is* part of the development process. To not use CVS is not questioned. Not using CVS is entirely unacceptable for technical and business reasons. It's more than that. It's an instinct as primal as fucking. When you start a project, the first thing you do is import the damn thing into CVS. When you write code, after you test it, you check that shit in to the repository. If something breaks, you look at previous revisions, you go back in time really, to see when and where the breakage occurred. This is life as a programmer. CVS is safety. CVS is insurance. Working without CVS is like playing Russian roulette with a fully loaded automatic weapon. You fuck yourself, paint the walls with your brain; and then so does the next person who picks up the gun.

So when another programmer looks at me with a straight face and in all seriousness says, 'This code does not need to be in CVS', my brain literally seizes up. I don't *know* what to say to this person. I mean, you don't have to explain to someone the importance of breathing, right? Why in god's name do I have to constantly illustrate the importance of developing software with some sort of revision control?

Am I the really only person here with a freaking clue? Do these primitive screw-heads *like* the pain of sucking on their own idiocy?

Every day I have to deal with obtuse primate molesters seemingly intent upon doing things consistently the hard way. Every day I am given occasion to launch into a tirade about best software development practices and common fucking sense. Every day I am disappointed by these slug fuckers who look at me with glazed-over eyes and slack-jawed smiles. Nobody gets it...they really do like to do things ass-backwards.
  • Current Music
    Propellerheads - The Matrix Sountrack - Spybreak Short One

Jury Duty!

I have been issued a juror summons for this week.

I am vacillating between excitement and apathy to be a participant in the legal system. Part of me is definitely not wanting to avoid this civic duty. I am not like a lot of people who I have encountered who think jury duty is de facto something to be avoided like the plague. It's not that I am all that patriotic or civic minded. For better or worse, I admit that I am neither. Truth be known, I think patriotism is a disease of the bigoted and simple minded. It's just another form of zealotry that causes people to hate and kill and die.

On the other hand, being civic minded is a good thing and I should like to become more so civic minded than I am. That is why I do not shirk my juror summons. I may think our legal system (and many other things about our society and civilization) is inherently flawed. But I think it is better to be a conscientious participant than to avoid the duty and then bitch about how flawed it is. Read 'My Ishmael' by Daniel Quinn if you want to know what I am talking about. (But start with 'Ishmael' and 'The Story of B' first.)

Change does not come by bitching and then maybe being inclined to radical action. Change comes by changing your attitude and then helping others change their attitudes. Maybe that can be done as a member of a jury?

At the very least, it should be a learning experience to finally participate in this thing I have only heard about in classrooms and television shows all my life.

And that's where the apathy comes in. I am at a point in my life where I realize much of what I have been taught in schools and in the media is a bunch of mind numbing crap intended only to reduce human beings to dutiful little drone consumers, just as happy buying the next electronic gizmo as letting our civil liberties get leached away by those pandering to fear and ignorance.

So why should I be a part of that system? I am a free mind. I have finally liberated myself. Fuck the man. All that.

Then I remember, oh yeah: being angry and pissed off does not solve much and usually just makes things worse. Besides, they definitely won't let me serve if my attitude is 'fuck the man'.

But I am so totally wearing one of my kilts. The summons says no shorts or tank tops. The dress code is 'business casual'. Well, a kilt is not shorts and I wear one to work, so there. If I get a hard time for it, I'll just say something about harassment and point at the first woman I see wearing a skirt and ask why she does not have to wear pants.

As it turns out, I am not serving today. They have this website you can update to see when and where your jury group must report to. Today there was nothing, but I get a chance to win each day this whole week!
  • Current Music
    A Perfect Circle - Mer de Noms - The Hollow

Actual conversation with a telemarketer

So my wife and I had just finished dinner. We were just on our way out to drive by some homes she had found for sale earlier that day. This is around 8 or 8:30. The phones rings and I pick up.

"Good evening sir! How are you today?"

"Oh, I was fine until you called. You're a telemarketer, aren't you?"

"No! I am not a telemarketer!"

"Oh, okay. Who are you then?"

"I am calling to extend blah blah offer blah blah Direct TV blah blah blah blah..."

"Whoa whoa whoa....wait....stop...hold on, there."


"I don't mean to interrupt you, but we don't watch TV here."

"You don't watch TV?"

"Not at all."



My wife pointed out that it was especially grand that I got the telemarketer to hang up on me, rather than having to hang up on him.
  • Current Music
    San Jose Taiko - Mo Ichido: One More Time - Hayaku